A Quiet Shift

My thoughts were soaring when I arrived in the city. After tasting freedom and living in the comforting chaos of Indonesia, it was as if my body had arrived in a different universe within just 3 hours, to a country with enforceable law and order, tight smiles, traffic lights and 30 seconds to cross the road. Welcome to civilization. This is the world, in which I‘ve spent my entire life. Never have I questioned it so deeply until now. Having grown used to bustling cities, I was surprised by how the rows of commercial stores, their flashy signs, big malls, the people walking in and out every day, suddenly started to irritate me. More importantly, I was keenly aware that I myself had been a part of this life.

I stopped at a shop window. It was designed purposefully with a creativity that I imagine was a product of heavy group discussions between product designers, store managers, creative directors and the marketing team. It was clear they followed a color theme of light pastels featuring coats, scarves, shoes and bags in different shades, shapes and sizes. Who needs all this, I said to myself, but just before I could finish that thought, a spitting image of my own wardrobe at home flashed before me. Didn’t that look exactly the same?

My thoughts jumped back to the beginning of my trip in India. My grandparents live close to the west coast of Maharashtra and have led a very simple and humble life. I never understood it before, and would often ask myself, why don‘t they renovate their homes, or move into a bigger house? Why don’t they install AC‘s and buy cars?

As I continued to reflect on the contrasts I was witnessing, I began to understand something deeper. The question is not about money, at least not on a deeper level. The question is about comfort, and comfort representing only that which is really needed. Everything else is excess, a luxury which once you have, doesn’t make your life easier as you’ve hoped, but weighs you down. Materialism is pain. It’s a game that presents new tokens, wiggles them in front of your face, snatches them before they can be attained, or if, someone is able to catch them, they lose their charm, fade in color and reek of smell. Pain is suffering, and the source of all suffering lies in humans. Wanting too much too soon stretches the boundaries of the realities we are living in, creating a distorted image of what is real and what is maya, a mere illusion, a play of our senses. This world is a trap for the soul. Only the ones who have seen through this veil can choose to step out of this game, get a chance at true happiness and peace at last.

Have I found it? I‘m not sure. I wouldn’t imagine it to be another token that can be held in my hands and clung onto vigorously, desperately. Peace is a space that is cultivated from within, a center and a place one can retreat to and where one shields themselves from the storms of the outer world. It is a garden that never stops growing. I've dreamt about this garden. Thus, I planted the first seeds.